Hi Blogger Buddies! Long time no chat! Happy New Year! I have been a little lax on posting, but I'm here now! I have also updated my website with some interesting articles, Q&A, and a few pics. Check out www.maleajensen.com.

As the new year is upon us, we may want to consider some minor improvements in ourselves. I will comment on one here as I know with this blasted cold weather and being cooped up in the house with nothing to do can........well, cause a little bit of anger. Sssshhhhh, not so loud. You don't want everyone to hear! Are you one who needs some anger management this time of year? Well, the doc is in! Here are a few suggestions to keep you from blowing a gasket!

Simple as it may sound, you may want to start with some age-old advice--count to 10 before you speak. If you are super angry, a hundred might suffice!

The familiar childhood reproach of “counting to 10” before taking action works because it emphasizes the two key elements of anger management -- time and distraction.

As you may already know, the energy of anger often leads to impulsive behavior that only aggravates an already tense situation. If given enough time to cool off, however, most people can learn to control their initial impulses. Counting to 10 not only provides the time needed for delay, but also offers a distraction from the anger-arousing event. While busily counting, we cannot mentally add fuel to the fire by mulling over whatever happened.

Counting to 10 becomes an even more effective way of disarming anger if we also take a slow deep breath between each number. It appears that deep breathing counteracts the fight or flight stress reaction that underlies anger.

Once more relaxed and in control, we're ready to "respond," which is the key when dealing with anger. You should try not to react! Instead, make a careful choice regarding the best course of action, and then guide your response by the three anger-regulating principles: empathy, compassion, and assertion."

Empathy is the ability to see a situation from another person's point of view. Adopting an empathic stance opens the door to compassion by providing for a deeper emotional understanding of the source of conflict. Being compassionate in an anger-arousing situation allows for the deliberate choice of a tolerant but assertive response to resolving the conflict.

Sound simple? Give it a try the next time you feel yourself on the verge of blowing a gasket!!!