If you all read my last post, you know that Bobby died on Christmas. I finally got to talk to Mary yesterday. She told me seeing her brother die in front of her was a life changing experience. I simply could not imagine what that must feel like. As a doctor, I have seen plenty of people die, but they were not family and it seems that I had this wall up regarding death. I am not sure they even taught that in medical school. Maybe it is a learned behavior. Not so anymore. I am not sure what the defining moment was for me, but I sure look at death differently now. Death to me is a constant reminder of the wonder and value of life and it teaches us just how precious this life truly is. I can’t tell you how many people I have spoken with over the years who wished they had only told that special person in their life that they loved them before they died. Sure, the deceased knew it but there is nothing quite like hearing those three precious words. Imagine my friend, Mary, huddled over her brother with her mom and nephew, telling Bob how much they loved him. Wow, what a feeling for Bob!

So my mission for you today is this: If there is someone in your life that you love and appreciate, and for whatever reason have not told them, make today the day you end your silence. Show your heart and make their day. Tell them you love them, and you will free yourself and maybe even them in ways you can’t even imagine.

It was the Eve of Christmas. I had just arrived back into town from visiting my dad in Spencer and meeting my nephew who I had not seen since he was just a few months old. Wow, how he has grown, and Aunt Malea was very proud of him! He is so smart for a 2 1/2 year old. He was chattering away and we helped put together Lincoln Logs that I had given him for Christmas.

So back to the Eve of Christmas, I met my friends, Jeff and Caroline at a local church. It was a small gym, in fact. Small gym, but lots of spirit for Jesus. It was all so heartwarming to me. I sat with Jeff and Caroline's little Olie on my lap. He is my little cutie pie! I am pretty sure he has taken a liking to me! He was my christmas present for the night. I even got hugs from my muscle Max. I picked him up, hugged him tight and told him I love him. He said, "I love you too Dr. Malea!" Talk about a tear jerker! Charlie man was not in the mood for hugs, but I did get a little grin out of him! Buck and Laura were excited to see me at their church. We hugged and chatted about their new addition to the family............baby Zoe, a 10 month old from Ethiopia. Soon she will be an Olsen! God is so good!

After the service, I got into to my truck and checked my messages. One from my friend, Mary. I had a feeling it was not going to be a good one. Her brother, Bobby, was not doing well. They were not expecting him to live thru Christmas. I was unfortunately right. Bobby passed away. Here is a paragraph from Mary:

Hi All!!
Yesterday was a day that words cannot describe!! We got a call about 2:45 to come up to the hospital ASAP. We get up there 15 after 3:00. The nurse tells us that it could be a false alarm but his O2 sats were dropping. We walk into the room and there is this tall hansome young man. JUSTIN!!We were so thankful that he found it in his heart to come up there and see his Dad. They had not seen each other for over 10 years. Divorce and a bitter Ex wife messed that up. Anyway, we leave Justin alone wit his dad for a few minutes and the nurse comes out of the room. I asked her is Justin OK in there and she says he looks like he is not sure what to do. SO I go in there and Justin says, "can he hear me?' I told him sure he can. "Bob, Can you see who is here? Justin is here!" He looks over at Justin and says "Justin" with his lips. Justin grabs his hand and says he loves him and he is sorry...A tear runs down Bobby's face. The rest of the family comes in, Mom & Dad, and Gaylen (Bob's girlfriend 12 years disappears somewhere outta the room). I was holding Bob's left hand and Justin was standing next to me. Mom on the other side holding his right and Dad standing with her. Suddenly, Bobby's breathing becomes very erratic. We watch his pulse rate drop down down and breathing becomes longer in between breaths...within 15 minutes....He was gone!! He died at 3:45 on Christmas Eve. It was the most amazing, but emotionally draining thing I have ever witnessed in my life!!! It was like he was waiting for Justin. The nurses had been telling Bob all day that his son was coming. We were not positive he was...but hoped he would. I prayed he would show up since I had been talking to him. I just found him last week thru the Internet. He was living in Houston!!! And now here he was well over 6', handsome, polite, caring young man...and the spitting image of Bobby. It was all out of a movie!! Thru that whole process Justin stood there rubbing my back and comforting me. This IS exactly like a movie, LOL. God took my brother , but reunited us with Justin..Wow! My little brother came in last night around 9:00...and missed the whole thing...but I beleive God didn't want him to see Bobby that way...Billy doesn't handle hosputals well anyway... It all worked out the way it was suppose to. So all the kids (Me, Billy, Gary, Cathy) are here at Mom & Dad's...except Bobby, but he is here too. I already miss him terribly, but I know he is in a better place. Celebrating Jesus birthday with Stan!! LOL. Thank you all again for all the thoughts, Prayers, and wishes...it worked out according to God's plans........ Love, Mary

I went to my church for a second Christmas EVE service. I am so glad I did! I simply cannot put into words the feeling I get when I hear Pastor Mike speak. He is surely a blessing from God. His gifts are plentiful and he speaks the Word with such passion. I left there knowing Jesus had a lot of space in me.......in fact, all the space He needed to fill me up!

I pray everyone had a blessed Christmas!

Exciting news today.........My buddy, Colette Nelson, received a special invite to the Arnold Classic. Wow, was she ever excited to tell me. I am so proud of her! This is actually bigger for her than the Olympia this past October. She admits she is scared, but she will do it scared if she has to. I purchased my tickets to go watch her and I am also planning on a January and February "Dr. J's bust Colette's butt" camp. This pumps us both up since we cherish the times we can train together. Send Colette your congratulatory emails and blessings to colettey@msn.com. I know there are some special people that she would love to hear from!!!

So many of you have been praying for my freind, Mary, and her brother, Bobby, who is still in the hospital following a very traumatic motorcycle accident. I thought I would post her latest email to me. Mary has been so strong through this, but I know prayer has kept her spirit on fire. You can tell in her words that she has so much hope. I will keep you up to date on his progress. Thanks again! God bless!


"Hi all, here is the latest on my brother Bobby. My mom called me yesterday about 4:30pm in tears. Said that the new doctor (Liver Specialist)said to get things in order, Bob has liver failure. He WILL die. They also signed a DNR order on him. (do not resusitate) Mom was devistated and this was the first time thru all this that she cried at least where I could hear or see. At that point all I knew was that I had to get up here and see Bobby while he was still concious. SO, I got in the truck and drove since I couldn't get a flight til late tonight. Amazing what you can do with three grande White Chocolate Latte with two double shots and a few CD's of Show tunes!!! I was texting people all the way up there so everyone knew the route I was on...(up I35) The way my mom was talking Bob's condition was Grave.. I got to the hospital around 1:00am this morning (friday) Visitation was at 2:00am. When I walked into the room, he was laying there with his eyes wide open and mouth open. He looked so wasted away and scared. You could see the fear in his eyes. it broke my heart to see him that way. I was so overwhelmed by the way he looked, I was not expecting that. He was so thirsty that I kept giving him this little sponge soaked in water for him to suck on. When I walked into the room, I leaned over too him and said "Bobby, it's Mary, can you see me?" He looked at me and nodded his head yes. I just continued to talk to him. He cannot speak and you could see that that was frustrating to him. I told him" You know you were really messed up in that wreck, right?? Your body was really hurt bad, but it is a mircle you are here now!" You know that right? You know we almost lost you several times, but you are a fighter and you can get thru this too! Are you Scared? Cause its OK if you are, we are all here to help you thru this. We love you, I love you and I will do whatever I can to help you back on your feet. You know that right?" He understood every word I said and nodded yes to everything. He knows. He is just so very weak, he can't hold his head up. I could tell he was glad to see me. He was able to barely squeeze my hand this afternoon. and he smiled when I told him we were leaving for now and that he better not give the nurses any flack!! LOL. He actually smiled...that was soooooooo great to see! I would've given anything just to see that smile...and when I saw it...I Saw Bobby!!I spent the night in the ICU waiting room and saw him again at 8:00 this morning. He looked alittle more alert. I just talked to him and stroked his hair and arm. You could see the pulse rate drop from 120 to 90 just by touching him. I kept asking him if he was scared and he nodded no. I told him that I know he just wanted to get that thing outta his throat (trach) it was really bothering him. He so wanted to talk to me. All you could do was ask questions and reassure him. I stroked his hair til he fell asleep. Dr. Rush came in and we talked. I had a ton of questions for him. It seems right now the biggest problem is that his body is not absorbing the nutrients they are feeding him in the feeding tube in his stomach. They just can;t figure it out except that his body is tired and so very inflammed. Cat Scan revealed a little lower lobe Pneumonia starting and he is on Antibiotics for that. Dr. Double checked his spine to make sure they didn't miss a spinal cord injury, nothing. His Liver is very inflammed and that alogn with everything else can contribute to these absoption problems. Acording to zdr. Rush, today Bob's liver enzymes were fairly good and his kidneys are functioning well under the circumstances. So this dire grave condition that Liver specialist gave my parents was actually a doctor who just "wrote Bob off"...Didn't really care I guess. This stuff gets so twisted around. Anyway, Bobby's body is not absorbing nutrients it needs so it can't heal itself...or regenrate the nerves to get better conciousness or body movement...it is all tied together to nutrician. Dr. Rush did not seem to think this situation was as grave as the Liver specialist who gave my parents NO HOPE yesterday. Dr. Rush is not ready to give up...and will keep fighting...He says he will keep on. Bob made it this far and can make it alittle farther. I love that Dr. He has been so great and straight forward with us from the very begining. He says Bob is a Quest now!! LOL So, again we wait. The DNR was signed because with everything Bob has wrong with him, his gut still partially open, his insides all inflammed and fragile, resusitating him could cause even more problems, so we have decided if God is ready for him, he can take him...that is the most dignified way to do this for Bob. That was not an easy decision for my parents, but I supported them and reassurend them that was the right thing to do. I am so thankful I came up here and have been able to talk to Bobby and spend time with him. I am not throwing in the towel on him yet and have rallied the family not to either...we have been re enregized, so keep praying!! Oh and when my parents came to the 11:00am visitation this afternoon, I suprized them by sitting in the waiting room waiting on them..They didn't know I was coming up. Both were in tears glad to see me. I am going home this sunday as there is really not alot I can do...I just NEEDED to see my brother while he was awake and could recognize me. I needed that time with him. I will keep you informed of everything. Please just keep praying, is all I ask!! Thanks everyone!! love ya, Mary"

You are all probably wondering if I went home a hundred dollars richer yesterday after my workout. If you recall, one of my patients signed me up with his trainer and said they would pay me one hundred dollars if it was not the best workout of my life. Let me just say it loud and clear, I did not take the money! I walked out of there wondering if I was going to heave all over my truck. This LARGE man took me through a whirlwind of leg exercises........don't ask me what order we did them in...........I cannot recall! Let's just say that about 20 min into the workout, I was trying to hold back the nausea. I was not afraid to tell the big guy either........."Hey, bud, I think I am going to puke!" And his reply, "OK, girl, go hard or go home!" Hmm, sounds like I was listening to someone read a page out of my life book! On I went at his command.......15 more, over here, get lower, all the way up, squeeze, drink.............Oh how the mind is a powerful thing.

Whether you believe in mind-body connections or not, the one thing you can’t deny is that emotions trigger chemical reactions in the body, which then produce physical consequences. Case in point: When you move quickly thru large body exercises and don't take time to breathe correctly, you can get nausea from the lactic acid build-up. This in turn, causes you to get more worked up, you get scared, and your body releases adrenaline, which triggers an increase in your heart rate. In other words, an emotion sparked a chemical (hormonal) change that had physical consequences.

Knowing this, it shouldn’t be too much of a stretch for you to believe that when you think negative thoughts, you put physical limitations on your body. If I had allowed the feeling of nausea to creep deeper into my psyche, I would not have been able to finish the workout.

Conversely, when you think positive thoughts, your body releases feel-good hormones that actually boost your mood and energy levels. Put this to good use during your workouts by thinking your way through the pain and envisioning your goal. Instead of letting your thoughts drift to how hot, sweaty, NAUSEATED, and tired you are, imagine instead how your body will look when you reach your weight loss goal. Or picture how you’ll feel the very moment you’ll cross the finish line and break through the finishers tape. These positive cognitions will boost your energy and give you exactly what you need to not only finish your workout or the race, but finish it with a smile.

I cannot say that I had a smile on face for at least 2 hours, but I did it. I made it through the most grueling workout with this large Bosnian man and afterwards found out that only 3 other people have ever finished with him. Yea baby! Mind over matter! Stand clear, the machine is in motion!

A healthy diet should include some fats. Fat provides the most concentrated source of calories, gives us energy, and helps our bodies absorb essential vitamins. The key is the kind of fat you consume.

Fats are either saturated, monounsaturated, or polyunsaturated. Most people who eat a high-fat diet eat a high level of saturated fat, which can raise your LDL or “bad" cholesterol and increase your risk of heart disease. Red meats, baked goods and full-fat dairy products are the most common sources of saturated fat.

Monounsaturated and polyunsaturated fats, on the other hand, reduce cholesterol levels, helping to curb the risk of heart disease. These “good fats” are found in foods like olives, avocados, and most nuts (monounsaturated) as well as soybean oil, safflower oil, macadamia nut oil, olive oil, flax oil, and corn oil. Certain types of fish are also packed full of good fats(polyunsaturated).

Partially hydrogenated vegetable oils, such as those used in many margarines and shortenings, contain a particular form of unsaturated fat known as trans fatty acids or trans fats. Trans fats cause oils to harden and, like saturated fats, increase the risk of heart disease. Trans fats can be found in most packaged foods, especially cookies, crackers, chips, and fast foods. Unfortunately, those aren’t the only danger foods. Consumer Reports found appreciable amounts of trans fat in certain cereals and frozen breakfast foods, even in some foods that are otherwise labeled “healthy." According to a study presented at a recent American Heart Association meeting, the government’s plan to change food labels to warn consumers of the amount of trans fatty acids in processed foods could reduce deaths from heart attack.

Today, any food with more than 0.5 grams of trans fats is required by the FDA to include a label indicating the amount of trans fat per serving it contains. But foods with less than 0.5 grams don’t have to be labeled as containing trans fats. While half a gram might sound negligible, keep in mind that even the tiniest amounts of trans fats can add up quickly when you’re snacking on cookies, chips or other packaged munchies.

Train hard and smart...........Eat Healthy!

Update on Bobby. My friend, Mary, called me last night and her brother is finally following commands. He is waking up. He is not talking yet and he is still critical, but the doctors, Mary, and her family, are very hopefull. She believes what the Lord has done for Bobby is truly a miracle. I tell ya, no one is beyond the reach of God's love.

I had a wonderful day today. I had two different friends bring in gifts for my new house. Most of all, they came with love and a wonderful note! I also had a special delivery of holiday chocolate chip cookies. I love chocolate chip cookies and ice cream! Yea, yea! I have been eyeing those things all afternoon. I shall splurge tonight during the Iowa vs Iowa State basketball game!

Workouts are good. I have been invited by one of my patients to work out with his trainer. He plans to pay me 100 dollars if it is not the best workout of my life. Hmmmm, Mark, are you listening????? Mark Steffen has been my all-time best workout partner, although, I have had some of the best: Al, Jim, Jill, Jake, Russ, Mark, and Melissa. I am so blessed!

It is Friday. Yeah! I do not work so that means relaxing. I am excited for the warm front that is expected to move in tomorrow. They predict 50. That is so much better than 6!Have a super duper weekend everyone. Train hard and smart. Eat healthy. Build up your body with God!

My health tip for the day concerns red meat consumption and breast cancer in women. According to Harvard Medical School researchers, regular consumption of red meat raises the risk of one type of breast cancer. The study was based on data from a sample of more than 90,000 women who were monitored over the course of nearly 15 years. At the conclusion of the study period, women with diets high in red meat were twice as likely to have been diagnosed with hormone receptor-positive breast cancer, even when other risk factors such as family history were taken into account. Hormone receptor-positive breast cancer is a particularly growing problem among middle-aged women. Researchers defined "high" red meat consumption as one and a half servings or more a day. For beef lovers, the study's authors recommended reducing red meat consumption to three servings a week or less. I guess this means "chicken is for dinner!"